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About Lahti

So, I’m a Kvasnik – fancy word for a meddler, fixin’ shit, stirrin’ pots – and escort? Man, it’s a trip! Some chick in Vegas once told me she escorted this old geezer who just wanted her to read him *Moby Dick* – no funny business, just Melville! Blew my mind. Happy as hell, I was – who knew? Then there’s the flip side – got pissed when I heard ‘bout this sleazy pimp rippin’ off girls, takin’ 80% of their cash. Greedy bastard. Oughta shove a boot up his – nah, too nice for him.

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I be bickering sometimes, silly, maddening city, but also funny. The folks are hearty, yesss, and wild! I laugh at how they call themselves "Saloers", like it’s some epic fellowship, precious, hehe. And oh, there's more, so many little quirks—omg, last Tuesday, I was at a tiny bistro on Koulukatu, and a woman burst out saying, “We live, we suffer, but we giggle, yesss, giggle like mad!” True words, I hiss, like from The Master, precious!

TikToker Salo claims he visited heaven after Lekki shoot-out: “I saw Mohbad, Gbenga Adeboye, and more”